How to Develop Emotional Stability When Life Get’s Hectic (And You Smell Smoke)

Emotional stability. It’s not just a desirable trait for an entrepreneur, it’s a necessity. Today’s climate comes with a shifting array of difficult situations, adversity, and yes, a certain amount of confusion. Through it all, as an entrepreneur it is in your best interest to remain productive and capable throughout.

The truth is, though some people get to a certain point in their lives and realize they are not as emotionally stable as they would like to be. Here is a quick test.
Is this you?
Do you get really angry at unfortunate times, fall into deep sadness, or find yourself so disgusted that you can’t participate in normal everyday things?

If so, you might be someone who can benefit from an emotional overhaul.

If you are ready you take action and become more emotionally stable, however, you must first temporarily be willing to explore being emotionally NON-expressive.

Why? Well, the fact is, Emotional instability is a result of a lifetime of trying to control and limit your emotions. As with many things in life, controlling or limiting your emotions and expression over the years or decades causes problems. See,nit turns out Humans require regular “emotional hygiene”, in other words, we need a kind of emotional cleansing of our systems.

If you haven’t been doing that kind of thing, then this kind of like eating a ton of fiber and drinking too little water.
Yep. You my friend are probably emotionally backed up.

But no worries. Practicing good Emotional hygiene simply means allowing yourself to deeply feel the entire span of whatever emotion is present for you.

Here’s an example. So, say, our mutual entrepreneur friend Henry finds himself stuck in sadness much of the time. He’s unmotivated, depressed, and on most days has no interest in even the best parts of his life. Now, no matter what, Henry, does NOT allow himself to cry. When he does get sad, he chastizes himself, then quickly pulls himself together and puts on a strong face.
No one can tell, but Henry’s life story includes recently losing his mother, and when he was young his amazing younger sister died young resulting in his once loving family breaking up. Unlike his friends, he didn’t get a chance to live a carefree existence as a kid because there was so much sadness in his family. Despite all of this pain, Henry never allowed himself to experience the depths of his own sadness. He was the oldest so he felt he had to be strong for everybody else.

This is why Henry’s unexpressed sadness comes back when he least wants it to. His emotions aren’t stable, and therefore everyday frustrations send him into a dark mental state.

Good news, our friend Henry has decided to become more emotionally stable. To this end, for the next few months he’s committed to privately expressing the full range of his sadness. He has no idea how long this process will take but importantly, he has committed to depend only on his ability to sit with his own sadness instead of escaping into alcohol or other ways of coping.

Here’s what this will look like. Each time Henry starts feeling sad, he’ll go to his “safe” place, and then he will allow himself to deeply feel the saddest things in his life. Without shame he’ll cry, big ugly tears till he can no longer produce any more sadness out of his body. Then, he’ll get back to his day.

Most people have one emotion that sneaks up on them and creeps through the cracks when they least want it to. You may have anger, or sadness, fear, or disgust. It doesn’t matter which emotion or emotions you are feeling, set aside private time to feel your emotions fully. Regardless of which emotion it is, you start by thinking the ugliest most painful thoughts and let the feeling take you over. Importantly, you don’t “act out” the emotion — acting out anger would look like throwing a plate or punching a clock — simply let the emotion ooze from you. Feel free to let it take you over without damage to yourself, other people, or property.

Then, once you are done feeling it all, as deep as you can go, check for any shame or regretful thoughts ensure you restate or deny them, and then pick up with your day. Depending on how much emotion you have blocked up, these deep gnarly emotional sessions might go on for a few weeks or even months. Through out this process, it’s important to remind yourself that once you work through it all, those old emotions are gone forever.
Yippee!

After doing this you will experience emotion in a different way. Emotions will cease to feel painful or overwhelming. They won’t be all-consuming events, you’ll be able to be sad without it ruining your whole day. In short, you will enjoy a level of emotional control most people cannot conceive. No longer ruled by your emotions, you will enjoy new confidence and surprising strength of will in your daily and professional life. While the process is a challenge clearing out all of these old blocked up emotions, has numerous benefits, including radically upgrading your relationships, and strengthening your negotiation skill. Many who go through this process see their new found emotional stability like a secret superpower! Try it, in a world full of emotionally blocked humans I bet you will suddenly find yourself more capable and powerfully able to remain emotionally stable and in control without much effort at all!